Fucking hates you sometimes

For the past few hours , I tried to convince myself to overlook this.

But sorry to say is getting worse when I did that.

Forgo my freedom to party to gain your trustworthy is worth it .

BUT if it doesn't , I think I am a fucking big ass jerk.

U made me feel like I m a CLOWN !

If you don't trust me at all , then I think I should forever stay in lies n creating stories then.

Since YOU think I m good in that.

Sometimes I think I m fooling myself by u .

What on earth I should putting myself in such a pathetic , I feel sorry to myself sometimes.

Don't say I m not grateful , I m way more than that.

Yet, whats the appreciation I get ?

Fucking make no sense.

I m towards nearly no demand , what have I ask for ?

Promise without action are bullshits, so keep it to urself.

Tell me right on my face that you don't trust me than by asking million times of same questions OR bringing out this issue to your friends in front of me . Sounds like a joke huh ? where you n me know its totally not.

I almost wanna yell at u , telling you the words u gave to me last time, " Don't fucking waste my time! " but somehow , I kept it , coz I know its the worst to hear .

I don't deserve to be treated like that.

What have I done ?

I think I treated you good enough, in fact , more than enough.

I always have this thoughts , 先苦后甜。

We might not as good compare to others now , but we might be better or more loving later.

I am starting to doubt myself now , yes , I might not able make it whereby my confident is being slashed into half.

This is a post of me releasing all the shits that stopping me to sleep.

Alright , enough of whining and I need to sleep.

Goodnight.