掉了

故事情節掉了　主角對白掉了　該屬於劇中的對角戲也掉了

胸口沒有快樂　斷了翅的白鴿　不枯萎的藉口全掉了

曾經唱過的歌　分享過的笑聲　在心中不斷拉扯

想念不能承認　偷偷擦去淚痕　冬天過了還是會很冷

很好的一首歌，以什么的心情去听，当然带出不同的味道 。

我此刻的心情， 是 要 去 唱 K ! 哈哈！

唱大大声 ！

危机？ 稳定？

一个relationship中， 当彼此对待对方的态度已有所改变，

热情已不在，想相见的热诚已不如以前，

对彼此日常生活已不怎么感兴趣。

这是不是代表我们踏上另一阶段，稳定的 ？

还是一个危机的信号？

坚持的精神到底去了哪里？

大家都累了是吧？

晚安。

Angry like asam laksa

I wanna shoot like angry bird .

Penang road trip was fun till I get scolded by some 35-ish uncle who called me AUNTIE !

@#$%^&*%$

Emotional unbalance !

I think my hand can reach your glasses from my window to yours and throw it out far !

Should have ignored your territory and action ! A slap on your damn face ! F. U !

2nd ,

Paid RM 60 for some " hurt" motorcyclist that I have knocked him down without I realise his existence ?

Whatever ~ I buy that lesson.

Oh well , good driving experience in Penang.

Penang drivers ! grrrr !

Eat.Pray.Love

I finished this movie completely . Oh like finally , haha.

Its about a lady who lost her love twice and she then got herself a year break from reality to Italy , India and Bali.

Italy : a place to have awesome food .

India : a place to have mind soul calm ( due to the religion)

Bali : a place where she meet 'Ketut' the future predictor who then her friend and the person who lighted up her mind .

Overall , this story is about the lady who afraid of losing her balances that she has gained for the past 1 year and reluctant to fall in love with this Brazilian. Ketut then said to her : Sometimes, losing balance for love is part of balance in life. This quote truly strike my heart like the red dot of the archery.

No deny , I am still finding the balance of myself from this relationship although its been months. Dare not to say I give out / tolerate a lot , but fair enough I think. I been allocate my time/day nicely , weekDay for work , weekNight for random / family , friday night its my only drink night , Saturday full time to him, Sunday myself and family. Seems balance and fair ?

The above statement seems little unfair to me yet I am doing it with silence. Silence here does not mean I am trying to show my talent in tolerance , how am I a good gf / daughter / friend that I can allocate all the time nicely. Kill me !

I am losing myself . I am losing the appetite that I used to have for food that I am craving , desertsss ! Its been so long since I last watching tv and bitting chocolate at the same time. Tasting the melting choco and then brings out the bitter sweet in mouth that will made me happy. Having desert with someone you love is the most happiest thing to me yet this always got rejected or postpone till forever.

Its all about different interest . You and me have total different interests , things I love to do , you hate. I love sweet food , I love party , I love outdoor activities , I love someone have plans for me, I love to drink. I hate you postpone the places u promised till forever , I hate you giving me options where they are mostly in reject bin, I hate you scolded me like no body business over the phone in front of your friends, that your friends have to tell me personally at a corner, asked me to be tolerate when they meet me, and no worries , because they did not see me doing it. In fact , I appreciate that you have really good and kind friends who trying to help us out.

And did you know I tried to revenge on this ? I yelled at u in the car one day , not because I am that mad but also I wanna return what you gave me. Sadly to say , it did not turn out as happy/ relief as I thought , it was sucks. I felt deeply heartache after the scolding and there you don't deserve that scold at all. Oh how stupid is this huh ?

Stop comparing me with anyone else. I am sensitive. I am just an ordinary person , don't ask to be perfect , human demands are never satisfied. I am not your perfect girl , you may find someone else to replace me and if that happens one day , I will go for Eat.Pray.Love. to find my lost soul. HAHA !

I think , I need a Kit Kat.

Fucking hates you sometimes

For the past few hours , I tried to convince myself to overlook this.

But sorry to say is getting worse when I did that.

Forgo my freedom to party to gain your trustworthy is worth it .

BUT if it doesn't , I think I am a fucking big ass jerk.

U made me feel like I m a CLOWN !

If you don't trust me at all , then I think I should forever stay in lies n creating stories then.

Since YOU think I m good in that.

Sometimes I think I m fooling myself by u .

What on earth I should putting myself in such a pathetic , I feel sorry to myself sometimes.

Don't say I m not grateful , I m way more than that.

Yet, whats the appreciation I get ?

Fucking make no sense.

I m towards nearly no demand , what have I ask for ?

Promise without action are bullshits, so keep it to urself.

Tell me right on my face that you don't trust me than by asking million times of same questions OR bringing out this issue to your friends in front of me . Sounds like a joke huh ? where you n me know its totally not.

I almost wanna yell at u , telling you the words u gave to me last time, " Don't fucking waste my time! " but somehow , I kept it , coz I know its the worst to hear .

I don't deserve to be treated like that.

What have I done ?

I think I treated you good enough, in fact , more than enough.

I always have this thoughts , 先苦后甜。

We might not as good compare to others now , but we might be better or more loving later.

I am starting to doubt myself now , yes , I might not able make it whereby my confident is being slashed into half.

This is a post of me releasing all the shits that stopping me to sleep.

Alright , enough of whining and I need to sleep.

Goodnight.

Demand Demands

Stated as below :

1) More income

2) New phone

3) New watch

4) Paintball

5) Short vacation

6) Spend more time with family

7) Lose some weight

8) Grow taller ( impossible)

9) Stay healthy & positive

10) Ah Boi stay healthy & less stress

11) Better job

12) BeE BeE lose some weight

13) More quality time with lovely friends

14) Everyone around me happie

15) ......... etc

Post of the day, done.

LOL

A yet to send letter

Spoonie suggested me to text and somehow I did , by email. haha

I wrote an email to you , yet to send, afraid of the bad outcome , still in the consideration that should I click on the ' send' button ?